Okay, okay— so this isn’t really a post full of secrets because I’ve actually told a few people these things! I also hate surprises so I generally think that they should be banned from my life (except for finding out the gender of my kids! All 3 were total surprises & that was awesome!).
It’s not too much of a secret that running my first marathon last fall almost wrecked me! Physically, I was fine but mentally I was done. I can’t even accurately describe the struggle that it’s been to try to convince myself to work out again. My mind just hasn’t been able to grasp onto how much I need it.
I’ve also gained about 20 pounds since October. When I got married I weighed 104 pounds and never worked out or watched what I ate. After two kids it was still easy living as I ate McDonalds and went through small spurts of going to the gym, but the older I’ve gotten (plus kid number 3!) the harder it’s become to keep the weight off and the more I’ve struggled to accept myself. Oh, it’s easy to spout the words about how I know I’m good enough and doing the best I can for right now. Sadly, saying the right words does not mean you actually believe the words coming out of your mouth.
I’m pretty lucky to have friends that listen to me and love me even when I whine about my struggles as if I’m the only person to gain some weight or let my running slack! More importantly, I am lucky enough to have the kind of friends that tell me to stop talking like that about myself and to make certain things a priority. (Everyone needs those friends! The people in your life that only tell you good things & what you want to hear aren’t real friends and need to be removed from your life, but that’s a whole different blog post!)
One of my favourite people is my friend, Cathy. When I got to run some of her half marathon with her just over a week ago I tried to distract her by chatting mindlessly. I lied to her about the distance, pointed out where Anson used to work, and how nice the new Starbucks is, etc. As we got closer to the finish I tried to tell her how amazing she was. My mind had so many great things to say but when you’re running they don’t always come out. I do remember trying to tell her something like this though: “You’re so inspiring to me. You running right now isn’t the most inspiring thing to me, though. Last year you hated your halfs and thought about never doing another half again. You didn’t have to ever do another one but you decided to try again. You beat the half the moment you signed up for this race! You won before you even started running today. I think maybe you’re even inspiring me to try this again!”
This past month I have spent a lot of time working with Reebok and my Ragnar team. I realize I sound like a broken record but I can’t get enough of their hashtag #bettertogether. It’s constantly stuck in my mind as every single day I have been reminded that my health and fitness doesn’t have to be something I struggle with alone. It’s okay that I’m not perfect–as long as I strive to be a little better every day! Spending those kilometres with Cathy really made me remember that I have an entire team of people around me ready to help get me across the finish line! Running is 98% mental for me. I can’t battle it alone, and THAT’S OKAY!
So here’s the plan–this October I will be crossing both the start and finish line at the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront HALF marathon in October and I hope you’ll follow along as I work to get there! Maybe we can all be just a little bit #bettertogether!
Special thanks to Cathy & my friends for inspiring me so much recently. I love you guys! (and I promise to listen to everything you say, Michelle!)