What’s next? Don’t you love that question?! I usually don’t because it means I have to think about the future and sometimes that’s scary. Lately, in regard to my running, I’ve been playing the “ignorance is bliss” card and pretending I’m not signed up for a marathon in a month. I would rather pose in doorways wearing my running clothes than actually run right now!
I signed up for Scotiabank at the Mississauga Half Marathon expo. I managed to take 9 minutes off my half marathon time the next day and was riding that high for awhile as I thought about running my first full. Thinking about running 42.2km is not the same as training for it–in case you thought it was!
As my training has gotten more intense, so has life. I haven’t been mentally able to get my head around both things and have instead developed a terrible attitude about running. Anything over 10k I struggle to want to do because it gets harder. It’s not an enjoyable run and my brain says, “Who cares! Don’t bother.” I’ve skipped runs, slacked during a lot of the runs I’ve done and just plain have not put in the proper amount of work necessary. The marathon is probably going to be really messy. (eek!)
This Sunday I’m running the Ajax Half and I’m not too excited about it. Actually, let’s be real, my ego and pride aren’t excited. I’m not trained to run a PB and I don’t know how the race is going to go down. My entire family is going to be there because Chloe and my niece are running the kids race, and I don’t want them to see me struggle….again! Will any of them care how I do? NO! Will they love me any more or less depending on my finish time? Definitely not. It is only my pride that’s going to be hurting and embarrassed that I decided to not put in the right amount of work during the past few months.
So what does all this mean? It means that I need to set some goals for this Sunday that aren’t about time because I know from experience that when I focus only on time, I will give up and I will not enjoy the run!
This weekend I’m setting these goals in front of me:
- Sunday is about Chloe not me. It is her first race and even though she plans to run with her 5 year old cousin, she is super excited to get an actual medal! I can’t wait to cheer for her and give her a giant hug at the end! She did tell me that I should bring snacks and pass them to her as she runs…. but that’s not happening!! It’s 1k!
- Focus on the surroundings. I grew up in Ajax and have so many memories of riding my bike to the lake with my dad, walking along the water with my family and playing in the grass. I want to look around and let myself remember those beautiful memories.
- Never give up. Unless some miracle occurs, I won’t be breaking any personal records, but it doesn’t mean I can give up. I am an expert at letting myself get slower and slower when I know my time isn’t going to be great anyhow. Not this time! There will be no walking; no letting myself say it doesn’t matter; no giving up.
What do you focus on when you know you haven’t put in the training for a race?